At one stage, getting a look at Lucy Pinder fully topless seemed as likely as seeing a unicorn vomit up Elvis. Thankfully, the gorgeous brunette has bowed to the wishes of the nation and decided to give us all a look. Ace! To celebrate, we sent Lucy and her best mate, Michelle Marsh, to Portugal to get their boobs properly tanned. Together, this hottest of double acts brought the beaches to a standstill for one of Maxim’s greatest ever shoots. It also happens to be their last! Ever!

Lucy, there’s something different about you, isn’t there?
Lucy: Yeah, I’ve finally got my top off! It’s really exciting! I don’t have to worry about my nipples showing!
Michelle: We were running out of things to cover her up with! My nipples have had their time, so I was dead happy that Lucy has decided to show hers!

Why now?
Lucy: I didn’t want to just do topless straightaway, and then it became this big thing, so I thought, ‘I won’t do it yet…’ After modelling for four years I was like, ‘I want to do it!’ I didn’t want to do it when no one was interested – when I’m like 50, saying, ‘You know you all wanted to see my nipples…’

We were starting to wonder if you actually had nipples…
Lucy: Ha ha! There were rumours that they were inverted, or that I had three, or even four!

Does this mean that you’re a topless bather now, Lucy?
Lucy: Definitely! I can finally get a bit of sun on my boobs! I sunbathed topless in Portugal, which was lovely apart from the fact I realised there were builders watching us. On the last night I was like, ‘God, look at them copping a look!’ And Michelle was like, ‘Lucy! They’ve been there all week!’

Whose boobs are better?
Lucy: We’ve both got good boobs. I couldn’t possibly choose!
Michelle: They’re very similar, so it would be a hard competition to judge. If I had Lucy’s boobs instead of mine I wouldn’t complain. I’d have to get a bigger bra, though! Pinder’s are even bigger than mine!

You two have been working together for ages. Do you get pissed off with each other?
Michelle: Oh no, definitely not! We have such good fun on shoots. They’re long days but we have such a good time – it always flies by!

When did you meet?
Lucy: I think it was a Daily Star shoot. I’d just finished and she was coming in. When you start modelling the other girls can be quite bitchy. It’s like being at school again! I was a bit wary to start with, so I probably didn’t talk to her much.
Michelle: I can’t really remember the first shoot except that we got on really well! We’ve done so many together they all kind of blur into one. I think we must have done about 70 together by now.

If you have to introduce a third member into the big-boob team, who would you pick?
Lucy: There are lots of lovely girls out there but I think two works best. Someone would probably feel left out with three. And how would we decide? A redhead? Or two brunettes? It’d be too confusing.
Michelle: I’d pick Malene from the Daily Star. She’s got big boobs and she’s lovely. She’s just like me and Lucy – we’d make a great threesome.

Have your boobs ever burst out of your top in public?
Lucy: Only in a bikini – that happens all the time!

You must have to wear a fairly robust bikini…
Lucy: That’s the hardest thing – you want a bikini you can swim in, but that won’t leave massive white marks on your boobs. You squeeze yourself in to these little ones, then you go for a swim and your boobs pop out and scare young children.

You’ve got £200 to spend in Ann Summers. What are you buying?
Lucy: I’d say a really sexy lingerie set, but they don’t go up to my size! Maybe some sexy things, massage oils or something.
Michelle: I’d buy vibrators! I’ve already got quite a few of them.

Really? What about some naughty fantasy outfits?
Michelle: Yeah, I’ve got quite a few of them, too. I love dressing up! Though you can’t go wrong with stockings and suspenders – guys love it!

If some complete rankster tried to chat you up, how would you tell him you weren’t interested?
Michelle: I’ll just ignore them or give them a look that tells them to go away. I’ll talk to anyone, but if they’re a bit too up for it, I’d walk away or say, ‘Do one!’
Lucy: ‘Can I buy you a drink?’ is basically the national chat-up line, and if you accept, you’re basically saying that he’s got a chance. I’ve had friends say to me, ‘This guy bought me a drink and now he won’t leave me alone!’ I’m like, ‘You let him buy you a drink; you’re leading him on!’ That annoys me. So, girls, don’t accept men’s drinks unless they are friends or hotties!

Right. Baths or showers?
Lucy: You can’t beat getting in a bubble bath after a long day.

What about for having sex in?
Lucy: Oh, a shower! It’s easier to have sex in a shower unless you’ve got a big bath. When you’ve got a small bath it gets quite dangerous! It’s too slippy.
Michelle: I prefer having sex in a bath – though my bath is really massive!

How do you liven a dull party up?
Michelle: I’d start a dance off – boys vs girls! We did one in Portugal, it was great fun. We were doing the conga round the pool and we won! All the girls were in tiny bikinis, which kind of swung it our way!
Lucy: I’d just get everyone to play strip poker!

Perfect! Let’s do a little quiz to see how well you know each other? Lucy, What’s Michelle’s favourite alcoholic drink?
Lucy: Er, Martini and lemonade?

Correct! What’s her favourite swearword?
The ‘C’ word! Though she uses the ‘F’ word a lot!

Correct! What type of pants does she prefer?
She likes the girl-boxer things.

Yep. What’s her bra size?
32FF I think.

It’s actually 32F, but that’s close enough. Where’s the naughtiest place she’s had sex?
On a beach?

Nope – on a windowsill of a hotel! Who is her hero?
She’d probably say Pamela Anderson if she had to choose.

Yes indeedy. Lucy, you scored four.
Now it’s your turn, Michelle: what’s Lucy’s favourite alcoholic drink?
She doesn’t really drink. Baileys?

No: white-wine spritzer. What’s her favourite swearword?
Ooh, she doesn’t swear! Probably the ‘F’ word!

Yes. What type of pants does she prefer?
Well she doesn’t like thongs. She likes big knickers, like me.

She said she likes girly thongs! What’s her bra size?
32G – and if she says differently, she’s lying!

The answer here is 32FF. Sorry. Where’s the naughtiest place she’s had sex?
In a car?

Correct! Who is her hero?
Carmen Electra.

Yes! Michelle, you scored two. Lucy is clearly the better friend, and, as such, you should let her spank you until your backside is the colour of a baboon’s!

• See more Lucy Pinder at Freeones