When did you realise you had made it as a model?
The first time I was on Page 3. It was a really different picture to normal - I was laughing in it. The Sun rang me the next day to tell me how popular it was. 
Lucy Pinder’s nipples are a nice round shape. They’re very good nipples 
What did you want to be when you were growing up?
I always wanted to be a singer. I'd always done it. Because of the way my body changed, I couldn't do fashion modelling - which is what I was doing - any more, so I ended up accidentally doing Page 3, and it went really well.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years?
I don't know, I don't look that far ahead.
Would you like to be a pop star?
I definitely want to pursue singing, but if I don't make it, it's not a big disaster.
Does Simon Cowell smell nice?
He smells all right! He's dead short, though... and he has the brightest teeth I've ever seen!
Is that why he wears his trousers up to his nipples? So he doesn't look as short?
Probably. He has special lifts on his shoes to make him look taller!
What's the worst thing that he's said to you?
That he's met a lot of girls like me. That's always a big insult - you want to stand out. I don't think I'm a normal blonde bird - I've got a big personality. But because I didn't kiss his arse, he didn't like it.
What's the best thing about being Michelle Marsh?
Having massive knockers! I love them!
Have you got names for them?
They're my babies. They're a 30F since I lost a bit of weight.
What do Lucy Pinder's nipples look like?
Just nipples! They're very even, a nice, round shape. They're very good nipples!
What colour are they?
I haven't paid that much attention!
On our shoot you did the loudest, longest burp we've ever heard. Passing pigeons disintegrated in midflight. How long have you had that skill?
Since I was a little girl. I was having Sunday dinner once, and I did this massive burp, and one of the neighbours came round because he heard me through the wall! But I always say excuse me afterwards!
What's the funniest thing that's happened to you on a shoot?
I was doing a shoot the other day and I had food poisoning. I ended up puking like The Exorcist. I've never been so sick in my life - it proper flew across the room. It was really bad!
Who has the best breasts in the breasts-having industry?
There's quite a few now... most people prefer natural boobs, I think. A mixture between mine, [Lucy] Pinder's and that new girl's... Emma... I can't remember her last name... Keely's got fantastic boobs.
Who was the first boy lucky enough to touch a Marsh breast?
I can't say his name, because I still know him! I was about 15... I was a good girl when I was younger.
How did you lose your virginity?
Not in a good way... I did it for a present. It was his birthday present! I had no money, so I gave him that instead!
Do you have any secretarial or other non-celebrity skills?
Yeah, I had loads of different jobs when I was younger. I was a carer for the elderly. Q;What's your most disgusting habit? A:I suck my thumb when I'm tired.
When were you last mobbed by a group of blokes?
Yesterday! I was out in Manchester, shopping. I sat outside a pub and all these guys turned around and started chatting to me. One of them had a picture of me on his phone, and he'd been going around showing people it, saying I was his new girlfriend!
What disguise do you wear to stop men staring at you on trains?
A lot of people don't really recognise me, anyway. I'm quite a tomboy, so I don't wear much make-up and I wear baggy jeans and vests.
What's the toughest part of your job?
Being away from Manchester. I've got a new house and two kittens, so I hate being away from them.
What do you think of your namesake, Jodie?
Not very much. I'll leave that one there...
Have you ever been asked to go on Celebrity Big Brother? How do you think you'd fare on it?
No. I think I'd be all right on it, I'd get drunk, have a laugh, have a giggle. I wouldn't take it too seriously, like people seem to be doing at the moment.
Who would you want to be in there with?
Chris Moyles! He was hilarious on X-Factor. Liam Gallagher - I reckon we could get drunk and have a laugh, get a bit crazy. I'd even take Simon Cowell! I think he'd be allright. I wouldn't want to be in there with Gillian McKeith! She needs a good meal, that woman, get some meat on her bones...
You're engaged to a footballer. What do you think of the WAGS?
I think it was all right for them to be there, but the press was supposed to cover the World Cup, not what fucking handbag their wives were carrying.
What are you like when you're pissed?
Funny! I just dance and tell everyone I love them!
What's the Michelle Marsh patented hangover cure?
McDonald's and a glass of milk.
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