Every time I get a tattoo it's a little f**k you to anyone who tells me not to

When we watched Transformers, we were expecting to be wowed by mind-blowing explosive eye-candy like we’d never seen before. And once all those lunking great robots had buggered off, that’s exactly what we got, in the form of Megan Fox, the sexiest, coolest, non-robotic-est woman ever to grace a cinema screen. We caught up with her and, once we’d stopped stammering, asked her some questions.

Are you pleased with the Transformers movie?

Transformers is the best movie Michael Bay has ever directed, and it was definitely the sickest movie of the summer.

Were you as popular in school as your character in the movie?

No. Bitchy girls tortured me in school. They’d say horrible things and throw ketchup packets at me until I left the lunchroom.

Did you fight back?

Yeah, I’d take their cars while they were in class and hide them. I was born with an innate rebelliousness and I’ve had a problem with it my whole life. I did a lot of stupid stuff, torturing my mom as a kid. The Wal-Mart in Port St Lucie, Florida, banned me for life for stealing lip gloss.

What about now? Do you get picked on by female co-stars?

From what I’ve experienced, women aren’t good friends to one another. When guys want to hang out with you because your personality is badass, women immediately hate you. I didn’t get along with Lindsay Lohan on Confessions Of A Teenage Drama Queen, but you have to consider that we were 16-year-old girls. I haven’t seen Lindsay since then, but I imagine she’s grown and become a different person. I know I have.

Is there anything we’d be surprised to learn about Hollywood?

I know people’s secrets – for instance, some of the women considered to be the sexiest women alive only look that way because they’ve had three nose jobs and their jaw lines shaved down. Sure, they’re perfect now, but they didn’t start out that way. You can keep secrets from America, but you can’t keep them from Hollywood…

How have you avoided the usual road to rehab?

I’ve done drugs – that’s how I know I don’t like them. Coke is back with a vengeance; everyone is doing drugs. A lot of people are on prescription drugs. Celebrities aren’t trying to hide it – except when people have camera phones.

Did you go through an experimental phase?

I wanted to try different stuff and make an informed decision, but I didn’t enjoy anything other than marijuana. I don’t even think of it as a drug – it should be legalised. I know about five people who aren’t on drugs today, and I’m one of them.

You like to tell it how it is, don’t you?

I’m blunt… but being outspoken is good for women, particularly when it comes to sex. Women are supposed to be on magazine covers dressed provocatively but they’re not allowed to talk about sex? That double standard angers me.

Let’s talk about sex, then…

I really enjoy having sex and that’s offensive to some people. Women are the quickest to call other women sluts, which is sad. I haven’t met a lot of men who’ve said, ‘You like having sex? What a dirty whore you are!’

What gets you in the mood?

I’m young and have a lot of hormones – I’m always in the mood. But I like sex with one person in a relationship. Sex with random-ass people at clubs isn’t what I’m about.

You’ve got nine tattoos. What makes you get them?

Every time I get a tattoo it’s a little ‘fuck you’ to anyone who tells me not to. It’s weird to be part of Hollywood, which tries to control every aspect of people, from what they say to the colour of their hair. And I like the way getting a tattoo feels. If I’m depressed, it’s nice to get one and deal with the pain. I have one all the way down my ribs. It hurt, but it felt good – like twisting a loose tooth. I’m not kidding when I say that if I ever lose a role because of my tattoos, I’ll quit Hollywood and go to work at Costco.

Are you into pain?

Yeah. If you enjoy one type of pain, there are several other forms you’ll enjoy as well, but I don’t want to get into too much detail and make my mom have to bury her head in the sand.

Would you say you’re a bad girl?