The Big Chill Festival starts today. Three days of sun, bands, comedy and ogling hot girls through our Oakleys. The Mighty Boosh and Roots Manuva headline.

See www.bigchill.net for all information

If you like to laugh, and, what's more, laugh at silly beards, watch Bill Bailey and other hirsute chaps at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe (on until 25 Aug).

Tickets are still availible and be sure to check out the rest of the Fringe Festival

The Rip Curl Boardmasters festival hits Newquay – enjoy surf, Morcheeba, Groove Armada and loads of sunburnt scalps.

www.ripcurlboardmasters.com - has the lowdown on tickets and line up. What's more Maxim's got VIP Passes to give away.

The GB Beer Festival is at Earl’s Court this week. Drink all 450 ales and we’ll buy you a new liver.

For festival information and all things British-Brewing related have a gander at greatbritishbeer's site

Paul Collingwood will be crossing his arms and looking serious. Why? He’ll have just been bowled out by South Africa in the 4th Oval Test, probably.

For tickets see www.surreycricket.com

Olympics 2008 – people running and lobbing stuff. If you find this interesting, watch it from today. We’ll be lying in the park imagining we’re giant slugs.

Check out the official site, otherwise you can always trust the beeb for coverage

Portsmouth take on Man Utd in the Community Shield It’s like a giant 20p, but sadly not redeemable in vending machines. Sorry Wayne.

See www.manutd.com and www.portsmouthfc.co.uk for ticket allocation and go to the FA for competition history and trivia

Original potato man Harry Ramsden celebrates his chip shop’s 80th birthday. Buy a big vinegary bag and waft them in front of hungry fat kids.

Find your nearest Harry Ramsden's or even better, find out Britain's top 10 chippers

Wahey, the Premier League starts again! Life is worth living once more (er, not that the past two months weren’t lovely, darling. Let’s do it again in May).

Visit The Premier League's site for everything from stats to fantasy football

Throw a Robert De Niro party. For this, you will need a mohawk hairstyle, pimps you can shoot and Joe Pesci acting like a nutjob. Mr De Niro turns 65 today.

Find out more about the world's favourite taxi driver here

Ron Perlman – aka Blackburn keeper Brad Friedel – returns in Hellboy II: The Golden Army. Sexy Selma Blair co-stars.

You can buy tickets and get all sorts of extras at the Hellboy Site

Head to Lancashire for the British Tractor Pulling Championships. It features tractors, tractor drivers, and tractor WAGs (who look like tractors).

Click here to find out about 'the world's most powerful motorsport'.