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Entertainment: Music

 

Maxim Essential Albums 2006

Maxim's Albums of the Year, and you can win the whole blimin' lot right here! Ah, the sound of sweet music...

Whittling down the biggest and best albums of 2006 has proved harder than we could possibly have imagined. Which is really hard! But we've done it, and to make things even more exciting, we're giving you the chance to win every single one. Simply enter your details to webmaster.maxim@dennis.co.uk and we'll enter you into our draw.

Closing Date: 15 December 2006
(Prize includes 21 albums)

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For Weightlifting Geeks...

HOT CHIP
'The Warning'

Pasty physics students hiding behind keyboards, dishing out subtle electro beats to drop 260-pound beefcakes. Body-buildingly brilliant!



 
For Eating Pot Noodle...

ARCTIC MONKEYS
'Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not'

A big bunch of riotous student dancefloor anthems. Listen to while picking a microwaveable noodle snack out of your teeth



 
For Hanging Out With Gramps...

BOB DYLAN
'Modern Times'

Bob still cuts it, even at the ripe old age of 384. His softer foot-tappers will have you dozing in your armchair like a decomposing zombie!



 
For Reckless Boozing...

THE FRATELLIS
'Costello Music'

Sing-along, glammed-up rockery that sounds good sober, and f**king incredible after 32 pints of Stella, while sitting in a pool of pub vomit



 
     
For Tonsil-Busting Singalongs...

THE KILLERS
'Sam's Town'

Delivers stadium anthems more unsubtle than a rhinocerous fart. Great for complementing with tortured Michael Bolton power gurning!



 
For Limp-Wristed Booty Wagging...

SCISSOR SISTERS
'Ta-Dah'

Dress up in your mum's frocks, slap on some lippy, and pull willy shapes to this Bee Gees/Elton grooveathon. They're Steps for grown-ups!



 
For Flying To The Moon...

MUSE
'Black Holes And Revelations'

Daft, overblown pomp wailers go on a galactic star spotting hunt, cranking out world's first great space shuttle driving album in the process



 
For Rhyming 'S**t' With 'Armpit'...
SWAY
'This Is My Demo'

Exciting UK rap talent recorded most of this debut in his bedroom. Our bedroom noises ended up in the BBC's horror sound FX library!

 
     
For Going 'What The F**k?'...

AMY WINEHOUSE
'Back To Black'

Hard-looking hipster sings about rehab and f**kery over beautifully retro soul tunes with the year's most amazing voice. Oxymoronic!



 
For Nostalgic Blubbering...

OASIS
'Stop The Clocks'

Top 2-disc 'best of' package even piles in some of those corking B-sides. The perfect soundtrack for slapping your brother in the face!



 
For Arousing Mr Jiggy...

GNARLS BARKLEY
'St Elsewhere'

Made for dancing, but alive with bubbly perv hormones. Almost out Viagras Viagra in hardening up limp trouser packages



 
For Getting Chilled To The Bone...
LUPE FIASCO
'Food & Liquor'

Kanye West-endorsed rapper chewed soap for near swear word-free masterpiece. Owning this will make you cooler than going trouserless in Alaska!

 
     
For Trippy Hallucinations...

THE KNIFE
'Silent Shout'

Incredible electro weirdness from Sweden. Best used for robotic porn flicks, starring C-3PO, Johnny 5 and a bumper can of WD40



 
For Sweating Like A Pig...
COLDCUT
'Sound Mirrors'

Not even high-powered deodoriser will save you from stinking of tangy onion after leaping around to this bruising dancefloor opus. It bangs!

 
For Honing Yer Cockney...

LILY ALLEN
'Alright, Still'

Gobby poppette out streets The Streets with more uptown cockiness than a parade of walking phalluses. A sizzlin' raga-tinged debut



 
For Casting Medieval Spells...
THE FLAMING LIPS
'At War With The Mystics'

A wizard-themed album so good, it's clearly been zapped by wily musos with guitar-shaped wands. The soundtrack to being burned at the stake

 
     
For Plotting Murder...

ISOBEL CAMPBELL/MARK LANEGAN
'Ballads Of The Broken Seas'

Gothic folkiness from music's Beauty and the Beast. Makes you fantasise about forking out the eyes of unrequited love interests



 
For Inventing Adjectives...
THE RACONTEURS
'Broken Boy Soldiers'

Jack White-led supergroup rattle out tunes that are Zeppeliny, Beatlesy, Neil Youngy, Small Facesy and Creamy. Retro rockingly great!



 
'Cos You Can't Be Arsed To DJ...

THE DFA
'The Remixes Vols 1 & 2'

A hefty f-off to the belief that all remix compos are worse than Patrick Kielty TV shows. NY's DFA fiddle with buttons like total gods!



 
For Dressing Up In Chav Gear...
THE STREETS
'The Hardest Way To Make An Easy Living'

Conclusive proof that rap chav Mike Skinner isn't a flyby novelty. (Unlike the musical pube trimmers that landed on our desk last week)

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